so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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