You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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