omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
