You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
