whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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