"it" just moved
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
