I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
