I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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