Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize