there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
