the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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