After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
