3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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