I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize