Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize