covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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