Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
