thus making me awesome and them whores
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
