I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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