Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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