for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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