a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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