once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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