If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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