he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
