Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
