I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The best revenge is premature balding
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
