So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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