Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
