I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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