love makes seman taste better
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
