So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
