He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
