somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
