well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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