Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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