How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
