His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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