Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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