I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Randomize
