Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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