make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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