What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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