He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
