Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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