Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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