So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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