We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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