You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
