Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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