You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
