butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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