I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
even my farts smell like vagina
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
