we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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