it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
