How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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